On Losing a Mother to BiPolar Disorder and Suicide

Today, we welcome a post from guest blogger, Corinne. Her story reminds us of the importance of fighting the battle to end the stigma surrounding both suicide and mental illness, as well as of the work that still needs to be done within our mental health system. She recently lost her mother to bipolar disorder and suicide. We are honored to share Corinne’s story:

Just a few months ago, on June 9, 2014, I lost my radiant and infinitely kind-hearted mother, Gaude (pictured above and below), at age 70. She held strong in her lifelong battle against bipolar disorder for as long as she could. Here are some of my thoughts as a begrudging new member to the “survivors club,” during National Suicide Prevention Week.

Our mental health system is medieval and broken. It stings to talk about prevention, when we, my mom’s family, did everything we could to prevent my mother’s death. A chain of supposedly specially-trained medical professionals failed us, one after the other, until, in a “secured” environment, they let my mom (who was on suicide watch) wander, unaccompanied – and in plain view – off premises into a pond. This was mere weeks after a previous attempt. Her psychiatrist had abandoned her in time of crisis, the acute psychological care unit at the hospital forced her discharge in spite of family pleas, and the specialized follow-up care facility practically pushed her off the ledge. Her family fought for her life and for her survival only to face resistance from the very system that is in place to assist her and others in a similar situation.

My mom was the strongest person I’ve ever known. She did everything she could, for as long as she could, to hang on, find meaning and save herself from her illness. We tried and tried, too. Sometimes even the best of intentions and all the love in the world fail to save a loved one from themselves. We, as a society, failed her, and continue to fail countless others.

I suppose the best and most we can do is let the person who is suffering know again and again that we love them and try to anchor them for as long as we can. I read that connectedness can save lives. I don’t know about that, but caring and connectedness sure makes this lightning-fast ride a little more worthwhile. Be there for others, not because or if they are depressed, not just in times of crisis, but in times of carefree coasting, too. Just be there for others, all the time. Recalibrate your empathy antenna. We all need an anchor to steady us in the turbulent waters that we all, at one time or another, find ourselves in.

Please feel free to share your story with us to be featured as one of our “Voices of Other Survivors” guest posts. If you’d like to receive more regular updates from Our Side of Suicide, please enter your email address along the right-hand column of the website. You can always unsubsribe at a later time.